Becoming Fluent At Thriving

by | Articles, Leadership, Wellness

Last week, Katie shared thoughts on the age-old question: How Can We Be Happier? (If you didn’t read her post, pick it up here).  

My takeaway? Thriving businesses happen because the people who make them go are thriving.

When you are thriving, what is true for you?

For me, I thrive when I’m embodying my potential, making a difference, growing holistically, connecting deeply with people, and cultivating happiness. Dial one down and my thrive score peters. Dial two down and I’m working hard and wearing out. Dial three down and my creativity, courage, resilience, and inspiration evaporate. 

Here’s what I’ve learned over my almost 30 year career: 

  • It’s hard to lead what I’m not personally practicing. 
  • Living at the intersection of the 5 THRIVE realities requires intentionality.
  • Control is an illusion.
  • It’s not about achievement of a nirvanic thrive state; it is knowing I’m progressing on the path towards it. (Phew!)

Want to know what I never say when I’m in a THRIVE state; regardless of the task list length or hours dedicated?

  • I’m too busy – my schedule is killing me. 
  • My stress is through the roof. 
  • I don’t have time to take care of myself. 
  • Why can’t everyone just stay in their lane and do their job? 

And here’s the rub: our Western culture feeds on “too busy, too stressed, win/lose.” Everyone knows this water and we’re reinforced for swimming well in it. (Think first in / last out office mentality). As leaders, if we want something different, we have to model the shift, thus, if I want a thriving team, I have to choose to thrive personally.   

This is a commitment to our own THRIVE FLUENCY. For me, I’ve had to do the hard work of severing beliefs I’ve carried that don’t serve (like the constraint thinking that leads to win/lose or the belief that people will take advantage of a system if not carefully monitored). 

I’ve also had to rumble with my ego’s need to be good and right, thus my adage: My desire to be great must exceed my ego’s need to be right. Because if I’m not doing the inner work, my outer work will never be more than an optimized mediocre. And rest assured, the idea of that breaks my heart. As I’m sure it does yours. 

In upcoming 10X Impact Podcast episodes, we’re going to talk about how to create a coaching culture and the practices of a 10X Leader, and in my next blog post I will define 5 thriving conditions PLUS practices to increase thriving in your life. Stay tuned!


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Love your perspective here Laura! I am reminded of Brene Brown’s mantra… “I am here to get it right, not to be right.” Simple in theory, extraordinarily difficult in practice.